'Hey, John.  What's going on?  You wrote, way back in February 2025, that, after 45 years of writing, you would no longer be adding more stuff to your website.'  'OK, that is mostly true, though more specifically I meant there would be no more editions of my Updates on Life Issues.  Nevertheless, I have still been reading and keeping up to date with developments in medicine and bioethics – old habits die hard.

As some sort of compromise, I have continued to read general non-fiction, but without scribbling in the margins or planning book reviews.  Then last Christmas, one of my children bought me Just Good Manners and it has become the exception.  Why did he think I needed to read this book?  Was I lacking in this area or was it because I like a humorous read.  That remains a moot (and cheeky) point.

The book’s strapline neatly introduces it as, A modern guide to good British behaviour.  William Hanson starts (p. 4) by defining the two key topics.  ‘Manners are the guiding principles of putting people at their ease, of not embarrassing others, and of generally putting yourself second.’  No disagreements there.  ‘Etiquette, on the other hand, is a set of rules by which a society lives.  How you become well-mannered is (nine times out of ten) by following the rules of etiquette.’  That seems sensible too.

What follows is 280 or so pages fleshing out these themes in a witty, even waggish, style.  It ranges from how to introduce yourself and other people by handshaking, hugging and kissing.  Entirely practical.  By contrast, there is a section on how to meet and address the Royal Family.  Less practical.

Somewhat strangely it has a huge 10 pages of Index.  However, it failed to work for my test of 'soup' and how to eat it.  However, there was one takeaway lesson for me.  It concerned 'gravy.’  It was rehearsed on p. 80 and again on p. 107.  ‘Remember, gravy is always ladled and never poured, even if the gravy boat has a spout.  That is for the ladle to rest.  The gravy is ladled over the meat and nowhere else.’  Well, I never, I never knew that!  And if, and when, the occasion arises, I hope I shall remember that rule.

There is a short Appendix with samples of how, and when, to write thank-you letters.  Hanson’s examples are overly flamboyant even to the point of embarrassment.  For a dinner: ‘Thank you so much indeed for such an elegant and seemingly effortless dinner and crackling conversation last night.’  For a wedding: ‘We both adored having you there to celebrate with us and are looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks at the theatre.’

Yes, it is histrionic.  I was also struck by the easy homosexual stance of the book's author, William Hanson.  I had previously never heard of him.  However, early on I noted some rather twee and camp remarks to be confirmed by the introduction of his husband Mikey on the wedding thank-you letter.

Overall, this is a niche book.  Who needs all these extra rules and layers of etiquette?  Nevertheless, the anecdotes are interesting, and the quibbles of behaviours are amusing.  However, in summary, Hanson is correct.  We need to be ‘putting people at their ease, of not embarrassing others, and of generally putting yourself second’ (p. 4).  Indeed, that is almost the Golden Rule, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’ (Leviticus 19: 18 and Matthew 23: 39).   This book is truly 'a modern guide', but sometimes the old guides are the best.

Top  ▲▲                           Home ►►